It’s funny. Just a few months ago I was so ready to be done with Baylor. Don’t get me wrong, it was very bitter sweet – there were so many things and people I would miss and I knew the transition to real life wouldn’t be easy - but I was mentally prepared to start real life outside of the Baylor bubble. I was told that it wouldn’t really hit me that I had graduated until the fall when everyone else was going back to school that I wouldn't be joining them. It would just feel like another summer vacation.
Until now, this whole China adventure has seemed like the best opportunity I could ask for. I’m getting to travel and meet new people and learn a new language and learn to see things from a different point of view. Oh and BONUS, I’m getting paid for it. There was never much doubt in my mind that this was the right move to make. Sure, I knew there would be tough times and challenges, but that’s just part of the experience and I’ll be thankful for every moment (eventually). I wasn’t prepared for this. This morning (China time) I bawled my eyes out as I watched Baylor beat TCU (SIC EM BEARS!!!) on ESPN via my slingbox. I know that my time in BUGWB is over, and that it was always going to be hard to watch the first game or two without being in that uniform (not that I miss the uniform itself), piccolo in hand, surrounded by my flutes. But, somehow, this realization seems so much harsher when watching the game on a fuzzy feed from my laptop at my kitchen table 10,000 miles away. This morning was the first time that I felt like I was missing out on something by being here, that I had deprived myself of something the moment I stepped on that plane.
I’m sure this feeling will pass before long. My life is nothing if not an emotional roller coaster. I’ll get back to relishing my time in China in no time. But for now, I just have to say to everyone sitting in Floyd Casey right now, or anyone who is wishing they were there like me, that I miss you more than you can possibly imagine. That place and the people in it will always be like home to me, so just enjoy it for me while you can, because it won’t and can’t last forever. Do a couple of sic ems for me and down a few too many pixie sticks (shout out to my flutes!!).
Love and miss you all,